You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
