We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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