New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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