how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
