all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
