The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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