i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
how drunk are you?
Several
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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