and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
