Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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