He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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