super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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