Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Randomize
