I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He uses pillows to masturbate.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
