can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
