Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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