Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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