So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
