Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
