Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
