Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
