You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
40s are totally the cure
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
