ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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