people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
