I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
