he wants to bone in the snuggie
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
