I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
