I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize