Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
