You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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