Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Randomize
