While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
