I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
