so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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