lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
