hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
