I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
