the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
