It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
