Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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