The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
