She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How external is "for external use only"?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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