Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
