TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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