I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize