If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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