Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize