My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
