i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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