oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
