like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize