im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
