my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
