There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
