Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
