Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize