A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
