Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
