I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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