Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
