i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
