There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
